The laziest of all Government Officers

As usual a group of Government officers were sitting idle and chatting and replying to each other lazily. As if they can't shun off their lazyness in humor gossips too. There comes a boy asking about the status of his file. But to no avail. Everyone was so lazy. They were like napping from day to evening.

Seeing the condition he discovered that he should come some other day with some money or a letter of some person of source. Before going out of disgust he shouts “I’ve got a really easy money today for the laziest one among you.” He announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up. I will give 100 Rupees note to most lazy man here”

Unsurprisingly, all hands went up. This is usual money is like a catalyst for most laziest too.

But in one corner there was another man sitting with his hands down.

“Why did not you put your hands up, Sir?” Our young man asked the person in corner.

“Umm..Feeling too much lazy”, came the response with a yawn.

It was now that our young man finally discovered the laziest of all.

Conversation between a Husband in IT and his wife

This is a very famous humor conversation. I heard it a few times. I am presenting this for those who have not read it. Read and comment on how you felt. Can this really happen. If not what portion normally happens. The Story goes as follows--

There is a husband who happens to be a software engineer. He returns late from work and lets see what happens next.

Husband: “Good Evening Dear, I’m now logged in.”

Wife: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or file name.

Wife: But I told you in the morning
Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?

Wife: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found…

Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied…

Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters…

Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.

Wife: You are useless.
Husband: It’s by Default.

Wife: What about your Salary?
Husband: File in use… Try after some time.

Wife: What is my value in the family.
Husband: Unknown Virus.

Mallika with a beggar

Before reading this just think of Mallika, you know what I'm talking about. So it so happened that Mallika arrived at a busy Lucknow lane for a shooting.

Suddenly a beggar appears bypassing all the security.

Beggar: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.
At this, Mallika gave him 1000 Rs.

Asst. Director: Mam, Why have you given him 1000 Rs..?
Mallika: Umm..Actually..Pehli bar kisine behan kaha hai.

--
Nothing personal.
Its Just a J0ke.

Tit for tat for a beautiful psychologist

A young but shy guy enters a pub and sees a most beautiful young woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of thinking and gathering up his courage, he finally walks over to her and asks tentatively, “would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

She responds by yelling at the top of her voice, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar started staring at them.

Naturally, our guy is hopeless and completely embarrassed, and so he returns back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.

She smiles at him and consoles, “I am sorry if I embarrassed you." She explains further, "You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I am studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

Our guy responded at the top of his voice, “What do you mean two hundred dollars?”

Lol. Guys should be this way.
Caution: By doing this you may lose what you might get ;)

Genie gives Santa Three wishes

Santa was sitting at the end of a bar. He suddenly sees a lamp at the end of the table. He picks it and rubs it. To his surprise, out pops a genie.

Genie says, “I will fullfill your three wishes.” Santa thinks awhile. Finally he says, “I want a beer bottle that never gets empty.”

With that, the genie makes a whew sound and on the bar comes a bottle of beer. Santa starts drinking it and watches that right before it is gone, it starts to refill. He is impressed.

The genie asks about his next two wishes.

Santa thinks. Thinks again. Thinks more. At last Santa says, “I want two more of these.”

Difference between "Complete" and "Finish"

The first Joke is a properly chosen one. It relates to everyone in the world. ;) with me too.

A man went to face an interviewer. The Panel of Interviewers asked him, “Tell us the difference between “COMPLETE” and “FINISH”.

The man was cool. He replied with a clarifying example. He expalained, “When u marry a right person you are “Complete” and when you marry the wrong one you are “Finish”.

Needless to mention, his humor got him the job.